Snakes on a “plain” girl!

Rihanna GQ two 2013                                                                                       Photo courtesy of GQ magazine 2013

Ah, Mocha loves the energy Miz Rihanna gives! She is fire, she is ice, sometimes she is a little girl, sometimes she is a grown-ass woman or a tatted-up vixen or an herb-smoking Rasta gal or sometimes she poses naked with snakes covered over her body. Yikes! Not something ole Mocha would ever try especially considering her middle-aged boobs no longer stay perked up. If I held a snake across my naked upper torso I would probably smother the poor beast to death! Nothing wrong with snakes, nothing at all if you don’t mind slippery, slimy long vermin that could swallow whole a 10 pound feline.

Rihanna GQ 2013

Rihanna is a busy working girl, she needs time to blow off steam and wrap snakes around her nubile young body, what 20-something wouldn’t? Which reminds me of the time I visited with a friend whose roomie kept a long, white pet snake in a cage underneath his bed. I think his name was Rocky.

Anyway, Rocky was an old snake, so he spent most of his time underneath the bed in the darkness. But, occasionally my friend’s roommate let Rocky out to peruse the apartment. On the day I visited the roomie asked me to check in on old Rocky. I was scared, but I bravely opened the bedroom door and looked under the bed and to my surprise Rocky was not there. I looked out of the open window and still no Rocky. Then I saw a long white thing slither up the wall toward the window, the snake was inside the bedroom. I let a screech like a weather-worn Horseshoe Bat with its ears caught on a prickly tree branch and I bolted out of the window and onto the ground only a story below. Suffice it to state Mocha never visited her friend’s roomie or Rocky ever again. Nothing against snakes, just not snakes that don’t stay in one place. What was my point?

          Rihanna GQ five 2013                  Rihanna GQ four 2013

Oh well. Mocha’s mantra for Miz Rihanna: Hold a snake only when you are absolutely sure it has already been fed, you’ve known it’s owner for at least a decade and you’ve had three cocktails for starters! If you don’t drink, um, good luck!

Rihanna GQ three 2013

Vodka of choice: Smirnoff Vodka.

Vodka Drink: Slippery Ruby Snake Bite – Smiroff vodka shaken with ice, cranberry and lime and sucked through a strawberry Twizzler! Eat the Twizzler when you’re finished drinking. Yum!

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