Boo Boo for Honey Boo Boo

honey boo boo family

Mocha Bus Pass Lady extends her heartfelt thoughts of positive energy to the Honey Boo Boo family of the TLC show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

What a horrible thing to have happen, a car crashes into you and you are forced to go to the hospital with various aches and pains rather than retire to the comfort of your home.  Mocha knows all about life-interruptus.  

I saw my bus approach the bus stop and I waved my bus pass and raced across the street to catch it.  Suddenly, out of nowhere a female bike messenger with a bagel jammed between her teeth turned the corner and BAM slammed right into me!  We both landed on the ground, my bus pass flew out of my hand and she writhed and moaned in pain with the bagel firmly set in her mouth.  She apparently had a stronger grip on her bagel than I had on my bus pass!  Being ever dutiful and kind, ole Mocha jumped up in extreme pain to see if the woman was all right.  Little did I realize how completely hungry and delirious that woman was, she called me “Uncle” and asked me if I needed my bunion lanced.  Poor thing.  She lay on the ground with her hands pinned underneath her, gnawing on that bagel like her life depended on it, must have been very hungry.  Thankfully ole Mocha was of her “right mind,” I asked her if she was in pain, and she nodded, chewed on that bagel like a cow chewing its cud, and she mumbled, “I’m labe bor wok!”  When the ambulance came the woman had nearly finished her entire bagel and she looked at me and said, “I get docked pay if I’m late.”

Mocha understood all about what being late for work meant, I’ve been late a few times myself, but thankfully I was never docked pay.  Speaking of “docked,” that bike messenger wreaked of whiskey, phew!  But, after she was given the go ahead to return to work with only minor injuries and a slight concussion she was good to go.  Meanwhile the EMT people neglected to service poor ole Mocha except for one of the friendly ambulance drivers who slipped Mocha a few packets of Motrin for my throbbing migraine.  I told the messenger to have a big cup of coffee before she got back on that bike or she might have another accident, it was only 9 o’clock in the morning.  You know what she did, she went straight across the street to the local café.  Mocha was proud of herself, she did a good thing, she stopped a potentially dangerous future collision.  When the messenger returned form the café she toted a large coffee, another bagel between her teeth and just as she set her  drink in its holder and hopped back on her bent, but workable bike, a dog on a skateboard ran into her pushing the bike on its side.  The bagel flew out from the poor woman’s teeth and her coffee spoiled all over the sidewalk.  Thankfully the dog was all right, he kept going without a scratch on him.  Poor drunk, bagel chewing woman.

My point to this story is that you never know when life will interrupt your plans but, you must push forward, eat your bagel, drink your coffee and live the best life you can.  The Honey Boo Boo family got their ‘Sketti dinner plans interrupted just like ole Mocha got her baked chicken and vodka cocktails dinner plans nearly interrupted by foolish careless people in moving vehicles.  But, we moved forward, right?  You move forward with various aches and pains from the accident, in my case a huge hickey right on the front of my already large cranium, and you pop a few aspirins and drink one or four vodka cocktails and you’re as right as rain.   

Mocha’s mantra for the Honey Boo Boo family: Hire a driver with sharp reflexes, great eye sight and make sure he carries an emergency travel kit filled with ice packs, vodka, strawberry milk for the kids and bandages.

Mocha’s Vodka of Choice for the Honey Boo Boo Family:  Stolichnaya. Mocha chose Stoli Vodka because the Honey Boo Boo family, like Stoli Vodka, are VERY original!!

Mocha’s drink of choice for the Honey Boo Boo Family:  Smash Landings Lemon Drop – Stoli Vodka with crushed Lemon  and sugar shaken with ice and poured into a chilled glass with sugar around the rim.  YUMMY!

Until next time this is the Mocha Bus Pass Lady and her 4-Head Diaries signing off and wishing everyone a crash-free and safe 2014!

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