Yes, it is official! The Mocha Bus Pass Lady and her 4-Head Diaries are coming back and with a Vodka-induced vengeance!
MBPL missed being online, but life as it always does got in the way and ole Mocha did what any normal human being would do in sensitive times, she took a deep breath, smiled bright and drank as many cocktails as her tiny mid-life belly could handle.
Now that Mocha is back and working a 9 to 5 which is not her calling, but let’s face it paying bills, rent and eating are essential, she will face her audience once again. This time around Mocha will showcase the Mocha Bus Pass Lady 4-Head Diaries as 15-second installments on Instagram. Look for new installments, new mantras and a new costume very soon.
Until then, please stay tuned, Mocha Bus Pass Lady will return just as soon as she finishes her vodka cocktail!! Or Five!!!!
Smile and Drink a Cocktail – MBPL
Mocha Bus Pass Lady has weathered one of her many storms and she is glad to be back and drinking, er, glad to be back and making people smile! Here is my promo, I will return with a whole new Instagram series, so have a cocktail and stay tuned! Please click the link below and if you’d like feel free to join Mocha’s Instagram page.
This is the Mocha Bus Pass Lady and her 4Head Diaries signing off.
Well, my friends Mocha Bus Pass Lady is patting herself on the back right now. First, I switched from drinking Vodka for about two weeks to drinking Tequila. Suffice it to state, once I let my two week-old hang over subside I will go right back to Vodka. But, it was a fun ride while it lasted!
So, here it is, Mocha is proud to announce, THE ELUSIVE SINGING PEAR TREE HAS FINALLY SPROUTED! That’s right, Steve “Where are ya, Perry?” Perry is back in true rare form and singing his Portuguese booty off with a plethora of videos from concerts he recently gave to a select lucky few.
(Below video of Perry singing courtesy of Paul Frank)
(Below video of Perry’s “selfie” courtesy of Eric Frankhouser)
The beauty in finally hearing Perry sing after nearly two decades is that his singing voice is as strong and crisp and powerful as ever! Perry, original lead singer of Journey, still has it! Not the first tenor from days past, but his lower register or however one might classify, truly sounds as great as he did back in the day. As far as Mocha is concerned Steve Perry’s voice musically, well there is no classification really, is superb; he is just a damned great singer! Period!
Perry’s great vocal prowess reminds Mocha of another strong singer, Joe Esposito, from the band Brooklyn Dreams. Mr. Espositio also made famous the song, “Lady, Lady, Lady” from the 1983 film FLASHDANCE. Notice how all these “mature” men still have their pipes, all of them, which is encouraging to see not to mention it brings back fond memories of when music was performed beautifully by well-honed, very talented performers. They still have what it takes.
Both Perry and Esposito, now in their mid 60s, still stand, they are a true testament of how powerful the blessing of being talented truly is. Only comparing the two gentlemen by their talents, not the quality or styles of their singing voices. The difference with Perry, however, is that he was gone for awhile. But, guess what? He’s back and better than ever!
Mocha Bus Pass Lady wants to give Steve Perry a huge shout out and “glad you’re back, Perry!” Mocha hopes Perry continues to sing and flourish and perhaps even sing in Portuguese which would surely give ole Mocha a warm heart. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy hearing a man singing love songs in a language other than English, right? Until the day Perry records his latest album for the world to enjoy, Mocha and many of Perry’s fans will wait with baited breath. But, don’t have us wait too long Perry, we none of us are getting any younger!
To give Perry an incentive to release a new album, Mocha will release an updated compilation video of all the “where are ya, Perry” videos Mocha did years ago. Perhaps when Perry sees the hard work that went into ole Mocha pulling him out of that pear tree as I would like to think, Perry might get all excited and choked up and get that album done quick as lightening! That would be a treat Perry, truly!
Until then, this is Mocha Bus Pass Lady and her 4Head Diary signing off for now! Stay tuned, I’ll be back!
Mocha Bus Pass Lady would love to have had children. She would have loved to have been someone’s loving parent who lavished them with toys and food and clothes and grandiose designer baby showers. Mocha would have sent them to the best schools, had the best nannies and given them all the love and support they needed.
The idea of being a parent and having babies is a bit ironic for ole Mocha because years ago when Mocha was younger, two women in the elevator offered to read Mocha’s palm. Although Mocha declined the offer, one of the women told her she would be a mother of two, a boy and a girl. Who knew years later both Mocha’s boy and girl would be hairy, grow nails as sharp as fish hooks, lick their asses and poop in plastic sand-filled containers?
Not one to dwell on the negative, I have no complaints. Mocha is grateful to be happy and healthy and she loves when new parents gush over their brood. But, strangely enough last night Mocha dreamed she was the offspring of Kim and Kanye Kardashian-West.
She imagined how wonderful life would have been to fly in private jets and wear Swaorski-studded diapers and lounge in diamond-encrusted baby cribs andsleep on top of mohair blankets and eat and drink out of Ruby infused baby bowls and bottles. Yes, the good life!
Well, of course Mocha woke up to the reality of her “real” life; the eight pound girl pussy rested in a corner of her bed while the nineteen pound boy pussy nestled, as per usual, safe and sound on top of her neck and chin. Ah, mother-hood.
Speaking of motherhood, Mocha will never say “never.” Mocha is sure that one day she will be blessed to give her loving heart to a child or two. Of course, the hope is that when they are old enough to hold down jobs and Mocha’s husband or boyfriend has flown the coup, or passed on, the kids will support her. Mocha is comforted in the thought that all her hard work, effort and love to her children will pay off just like little North West’s love and attention will pay off when her parents are old. Until that inevitability, here’s wishing the Wests all the best with parenthood. Love your children like your heart belonged to only them. And one day hopefully, they will return that love two-fold. Or, at least make sure your gold-plated bed pan and jeweled adult diapers are cleaned daily.
Mocha West’s wish for her loving parents: Kim, Kanye, time waits for no one. One day you will have to prepare for Miss Nori’s million dollar nuptials. And if her husband-to-be is neither Black, Irish or Armenian, just remember to be as happy for Nori as people were when you both got together.
Mocha West’s Vodka of Choice for her loving parents: Kim doesn’t drink, but should she choose to have a belt or two after dealing with Nori’s upcoming “terrible twos” here’s a choice for mom and dad! GRAND TETON VODKA.
Mocha West’s drink of choice for her loving parents: White grape Vodka Sour. Grand Teton poured over ice with white grape liqueur, Ginger Ale and a couple of cocktail cherries thrown in! Yum!
Until next time this is the Mocha Bus Pass Lady and her 4-Head Diaries signing off and wishing all parents out there nothing but the best for you and your offspring! Cheers!
Ah, success. Success is like a run-a-way train; you board the train and when it takes off at the speed of light you believe it will be too difficult to jump off. Having children, Mocha is often told, is similar to a run-a-way train. Often times a parent wants to jump off, but knows she/he can’t. When Mocha was a little girl she told her mother she wanted to have children. Unfortunately her mother’s reaction was not receptive.
“You kidding? Children? You’ll lose your figure, you’ll worry for the rest of your life, you’ll age a thousand years and your tits will fall to the ground and fracture your toes. But, it’s up to you, you do whatever you want.”
Alas, ole Mocha never made it to motherhood or marriage, but Mocha always wondered what type of parent she would have been had she become one. And if she gave birth to “talented” children and fancied not having to work the rest of her life and allow her kids make all the money, would she? Mocha is not one to judge, she admires people who give up their lives to raise, nurture, fret over and make sure their children become productive, healthy and happy adults, who wouldn’t want that? But, while the responsibility of being a RESPONSIBLE adult is important, oftentimes it is also very daunting.
When a child becomes a well-paid artist unfortunately parental responsibility is shifted to “managers,” “agents” “YES people” “stylists,” etc. whose main agenda is to make sure their “commodity” stays in tact for the good of entertainment. There is nothing wrong with bringing a parent’s most precious commodity into an often over-the-top, brutal and stressful “business,” but Mocha believes being a parent BEFORE the child becomes a working commodity is VITAL. Structure, authority, monitoring your child and LOTS OF LOVE and understanding play a very big role. Mocha knows all about this, she had a very attentive, and nurturing parent. Actually, Mocha did a little acting when she was a child and her mother was right there to monitor her.
When Mocha was ten years old her mother took her to an audition for the Urban production of the play ANNIE. It was called LITTLE ORPHANED ANNIE LEE AND HER MAGIC AFRO, Mocha auditioned for and won the role of Annie Lee. But, Mocha’s mother forgot to tell the director that Mocha was a poor reader and she occasionally stuttered. Mocha understands now that she was dyslexic and she stuttered when she was nervous. But, Mocha’s mother knew how much Mocha wanted to be on stage so she helped Mocha with lines, she taught Mocha how to breathe to calm her nerves and she brought Mocha to rehearsals and watched attentively to make sure no “hanger’s on” or bad influences got in Mocha’s way. Mocha was her mother’s most valuable commodity and no one was going to get in the way of seeing Mocha to a productive adult.
Mocha got through reading her lines just fine, she even read her cast mates lines, on stage sometimes! More importantly, Mocha shined bright as Annie Lee, only stuttered sporadically and when it came time to flying three inches above the stage floor on cables, Little Orphaned Annie Lee’s afro was like a magic carpet jetting across the stage, Mocha wasn’t nervous, she happily flew around and smiled bright. Unfortunately, one night the guy working the cable got drunk when his wife left him and took their cherished Beagle. When it came time to jet Annie Lee across the stage to save her orphan roommates from evil Miss Hannalotta, the cable guy fell asleep and Mocha was briskly whisked stage left into thankfully a padded wall, but she got knocked the hell out. It was definitely a hard knock life and hard knock smack against the wall for Mocha! Mocha emerged from that experience just fine, she only occasionally sees double and gets dizzy whenever she rides escalators. And kudos to Mocha’s mother for being a dutiful parent and for making sure the fat six-figure check she got from the production company in lieu of litigation went toward her child’s welfare, college education, a new house and a few things for mom as well. Yes, Mocha had a good life!
Mocha wishes all young entertainers the best in their life’s journey. Whatever they are going through they must realize they are not alone. More importantly, no one hates them because they took time off for illness or overwork or they got arrested for being foolish. These people are young vital human beings who should be loved and nurtured by their parents FIRST, never mind the allure of success or what others think. Their parents should be mature enough to nurture and guide their most precious and valuable children, and help them deal with the wolves and trappings of Hollywood. And if their child must take a chance and jump off the train, they should allow them to jump. There is so much more to life than being on stage.
Mocha’s mantra for young celebs: If you DO jump off the train, you won’t be killed, because the train of success is only running away at a slow pace. Life is what moves fast.
Mocha’s Vodka of Choice for young celebs: For children 21 and over and parents because Mocha’s mother often told her “oh my goodness, you’re driving me to drink!,” Hangar One Vodka. For young people under 21, sorry no alcohol.
Mocha’s drink of choice for young celebs: A Midori Sour Vodka cocktail for the adults, vodka, Midori melon liqueur, whiskey sour mix, Sprite and cherries. Shake with ice and pour over chilled glass with sugar on the rim. For the kiddies under 21, a “virgin” Midori Sour.
Until next time this is the Mocha Bus Pass Lady and her 4-Head Diaries signing off and wishing all young Hollywood nothing but the best. Learn to love yourselves, drink in moderation, no drugs if you can help it and learn to value your body and your life because you and your body are only young ONCE. Cheers!
O’Shea Jackson pka Ice Cube; Tika Sumpter and Kevin Hart – stars of Ride Along. Image provided by Allied Pr/Getty 2014. Directed by Timothy Kevin Story
When Mocha Bus Pass Lady was a young girl she fancied being a situation comedy star back when “sitcoms” and variety shows were the norm. She took numerous acting classes, she worked in the theater as a “dresser” and usher, Mocha even left home for the bright lights of Hollywood! Alas, poor Mocha’s dreams were deferred and she ended up babysitting for the three spoiled sweetheart boys of an executive movie producer who promised Mocha a part in a movie if she would babysit them and their “I love to bite strangers” pit bull/boxer mix. Turned out the producer only wanted Mocha as a full-time nanny, cook and dog poop picker upper rather than give her a part in a film.
Ah, but, Mocha persevered and moved forward with pride, dignity, happiness and creativity. Before she turned in her tenure with the very wealthy family, thankfully she was paid up front, Mocha taught the producer’s little cherubs how to tap dance and braid their willowy, blonde and brunette hair. When the boys gave Mocha the combination to their parent’s wall safe Mocha removed lots of cash and took the boys and the dog on a journey.
First, they hit the local toy store and loaded up the limo with tons of toys and dog treats from the pet store. Mocha tipped the limo driver $500 every time they entered and exited the car. Then they ventured to Costco, the kids had never before been, for some good ole processed frozen chicken wings, hot dogs, cotton flannel pajamas, turntables and “old school” gangsta rap CDs including two of the greats, Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac.
When they returned home and while the boys played with their toys, turntables and loudly bumping rap music that one of the boys played Dee Jay to, Mocha defrosted the wings and hot dogs and fried up all the bags even though the parents raised their boys and the dog to eat only lettuce, broccoli, rice and corn. Ever resourceful Mocha made use of the veggies by frying all of them in the same lard she used for wings and hot dogs! Mocha fed the boys and the dog all the fried chicken wings and hot dogs they could fit into their bellies and when they were nice, fat, full and lethargic, Mocha made the boys a pitcher of grape Kool Aide with a pound of sugar to wash everything down. While the boys and the dog slept, for five straight hours, Mocha chucked the organic cleaners and used bleach and Pine Sol to wipe down the fried grease off the kitchen walls.
The boys finally awoke and immediately availed themselves at their three out of five restrooms of the lard laced protein, hot dogs, fried veggies and grape Koolaide that they consumed. The dog relieved himself by blasting runny poop all over the massive house and back yard. Mocha never got to the dog poop, but she performed one last good deed, by helping the boys with their homework.
The boys had been badgering Mocha to teach them “slang,” they assumed Mocha spoke slang, and she happily obliged. Mocha helped the boys with their English homework and taught them to replace,
“The truck driver drove his truck along the road for 40 miles” with,
“The sucka truck driver drove his raggety-ass truck along the road for yo mamma, BI-YATCH!!!”
Ah, Mocha loves kids and animals. But, what was Mocha’s point to this blog? Well, as long as the cast and crew of Ride Along don’t eat too much friend chicken wings, fried veggies and grape Koolaide with a pound of sugar, they should have very successful careers. Kudos to them all for an impressive opening weekend!
Mocha’s mantra for the cast & crew of “Ride Along”: “Ride Along 2″ will gain even more success by adding a Vodka-drinking Auntie character who fed Ice Cube and Kevin fried chicken wings and grape Kool Aid.
Mocha’s Vodka of Choice for the cast & crew of “Ride Along”: Svedka Cherry Vodka.
Mocha’s drink of choice for the cast & crew of “Ride Along”: Whipped Cherry Cream Martini! Svedka Cherry Vodka mixed with ice, cherry liqueur and sparkling water. Pour into a chilled glass topped with whipped cream and of course, a cherry! Mocha chose Svedka Cherry because Ride Along’s opening weekend was the cherry on top!
Until next time this is the Mocha Bus Pass Lady and her 4-Head Diaries signing off and wishing everyone good drinking and the cast & crew of “Ride Along” continued success and COINS!! Cheers!
Mocha won’t focus too much on Hollywood deaths with many of her posts, she’d rather drink, talk about Hollywood and be happy! Mocha grew up, however, watching a lot of television at a time when it was relatively young commercially. One of her favorite shows was Gilligan’s Island.
RIP and blessings to Russell Johnson, his family and friends.
Who is Lupita Nyong’o?
The 30-year-old actress, who landed her starring role in 12 Years a Slave before she even graduated the Yale School of Drama, has let it slip she keeps a journal, but as far as the secrets scrawled in it go, she won’t say. “I don’t want to bring that up,” Nyong’o chirps in her beguiling accent—she’s a theatrically trained, Mexican-born Kenyan living in Brooklyn, after all. But who can worry about confessions marked in a diary when what’s happening to Nyong’o in public is so very enthralling?
Lupita on learning of fame with her role in Twelve Years a Slave:
“When I learned Steve McQueen was directing and Brad Pitt was producing, I thought, Well, this is huge,” she says. “I had no expectation of getting the role at all; it was just too out there for me to think I had a chance. So I approached the audition like a rehearsal. It was my chance to have that role for 10 minutes, and I owned it. Then I got the part and the panic began.”
Lupita on her career goals as an actress:
“I would love to have a career that’s governed by the material; I always want to be part of stories that I feel are worthwhile,” she says when asked about the future. “And they don’t all have to be as heavy as 12 Years a Slave. I do my best work when I feel conviction to say something through the character I play. Always I want to have integrity and not compromise that.”
Photographed by Steven Pan
Styled by David Vandewal DuJour Magazine]
Mocha’s mantra: Keep doing what makes you happy, my dear beautiful well-learned and well played Miss Lupita!
Mocha’s Vodka dujour: Chopin Vodka, a polish potato vodka named after the composer.
Mocha’s drink of choice: Not sure if Lupita drinks, but Mocha heard she loves kale. How ’bout a Kale and lime infused Virgin Martini with a little cranberry juice splash, shaken and poured over ice. Interesting! As for Ole Mocha, she’ll have her Kale and Vodka drink, too thank you! Cheers!
The people at SNL must have read Mocha’s emails claiming both black male cast members Kenan Tompson and Jay Pharoah are handsome, but they do not make good-looking women because they have finally decided to add a black female cast member after five years, Ms. Sasheer Zamata. They also added two black female writers to their roster along with other guest black writers including Chris Spencer. Whoa! Way to go, SNL! Cheers!
Mocha would like to toast the “powers that be” at SNL for adding a little Mocha Chocolatta flavor to their repertory. Mocha hopes hiring qualified black people of all colors, hair styles, shapes, sizes and educations will continue in this great big world until the end of time. Until then, watching funny black women act and write for a sketch comedy show for about 90 minutes will definitely suffice!
Mocha’s mantra for the Mocha ladies of SNL: Get those coins, ladies!! Well, a’right now!!!!
Mocha’s Vodka of Choice for the Mocha ladies of SNL: Monte Carlo Vodka, from France. But look here ladies, ya’ll ain’t gonna be drinking on the job and get your butts fired. Go on and make yourselves a cocktail when you get back to the house!
Mocha’s drink of choice for the the Mocha ladies of SNL: Lawd Hammercy thank you Jesus, I got a good job, Martini! Some Monte Carlo and creme de cacao shaken to Rick James’ “Give it to me Baby.” Then pour into your favorite martini glass and rejoice!
Until next time this is the Mocha Bus Pass Lady and her 4-Head Diaries signing off and wishing everyone at SNL peace, love, comradery and unity. And please SNL keep the heat on at the studio, Chocolate people get cold easily.