Mocha Bus Pass Lady’s 8 Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues

  1. Drink Vodka Cocktails
  2. Drink Vodka Cocktails naked.
  3. Drink Vodka Cocktails naked and listen to non-Xmas music
  4. Drink Vodka Cocktails naked and listen to non-Xmas music and dance your ass off in front of the window with the shades drawn so your neighbors see you.
  5. Drink Vodka Cocktails naked and listen to non-Xmas music and dance your ass off in front of the window with the shades drawn so your neighbors see you get arrested and tossed into the back of a squad car.
  6. Drink Vodka Cocktails naked and listen to non-Xmas music and dance your ass off in front of the window with the shades drawn so your neighbors see you get arrested and tossed into the back of a squad car then later you get booked for indecent exposure.
  7. All of the above plus you tell your cell mates about your experiences and they laugh hysterically then invite themselves to spend New Years Eve with you.
  8. All of the above and at a pre-New Years Eve party with your new cell mate friends you find the lover of your dreams and run off with him or her.

Congrats! You have just celebrated the holidays by beating the holiday blues the Mocha Bus Pass lady way!  Of course, a month later you learned your lover has a spouse living in the basement of their home. 

What had happened was your lover found out that the spouse had planned to run off with the best friend of your salt-addicted uncle’s dyslexic half-sister and their two dogs; a deaf French Bulldog and a pit-poodle mix with one eye and a hind leg shorter than the other three. Rather than give up the spouse your new lover chained the spouse to the washer and forced the spouse to do laundry and dust.  You also find out that your new lover’s spouse’s anemic, belching and flatulent second cousin on the father’s side who rents out the attic recently robbed a Walgreen’s store of three bags of Kettle Popcorn, a curling Iron and a large bottle of Tums.  The cousin is placed under house arrest and only farts and burps when your lover invites the cousin downstairs for dinner.  You could become despondent, but instead you:

  1. Drink vodka and leave your lover.
  2. Drink vodka and move in with your lover, the imprisoned spouse, the thieving anemic, belching, flatulent  second cousin on the father’s side and adopt the deaf and half blind dogs.
  3. All of the above and turn your new life into a reality show and become internet sensations!

Happy Holidays from Mocha Bus Pass Lady!!